Friendship

John 15:13 ( New Living Translation)
" The greatest love is shown when people lay down their lives for their friends."

Proverbs 18:24 (NIV)
" A friend loves at all times."

Yesterday I shared a little about how important family and friends are to my life. I'd like to share a bit more today about how to have and be a good friend....

I don't have a huge list of close friends and I think that's totally ok. I don't think we can be true friends with too many people at once, but please correct me if you think I'm wrong. Like family relationships, friendships also take time and energy to build and maintain and if you expect someone to be a good friend to you then you need to work hard at being a good friend.

My lovely Mother-in-Law loaned me a book by Karen Scalf Linamen called "Just hand over the Chocolate and No one will get Hurt." ( Revell Books). Chapter 3 discusses friendship and I'd like to share with you Karen's do's and don'ts on being a good friend...

* Do follow up on promises - if you tell your friend you'll do something for her then do it!
* Do learn the art of listening - listen with your whole self and don't make your response about yourself! Ask follow up questions and demonstrate interest.
* Do celebrate your friend's happiness and success - Be genuinely thrilled for your friend, don't allow yourself to be jealous or compete with your friend.
* Do love your friend enough to tell her the truth - the very best friends care enough to tell the truth. Do it lovingly and tactfully but always be truthful.
* Do be an encourager - an encouraging word from someone who cares can make all the difference in the world. Let your friend know you believe in them - you can do it!

Now the don'ts!....
* Don't hide behind a facade of perfection or control - be vunerable, it says a lot. Do you trust your friend enough to tell the truth about your struggles and imperfections? If not she probably won't feel comfortable sharing hers with you.
* Don't tell secrets - if a friend shares something confidential with you, keep it that way.
* Don't try to have an answer for everything - sometimes in the depths of a friends pain all they really need is a shoulder to cry on or a hand to hold.

The chapter goes on to discuss how to choose a good friend. I'm finding the book a real encouragement and although this blog isn't to promote anything, I would actually recommend this book to all women who struggle sometimes. Karen is easy to read and quite funny. She is honest about her struggles and doesn't pretend to have all the answers, which I like!

Having a close friend and being a good friend to someone else is wonderful and I really pray that each of you have someone like this in your life. Just remember though that the Lord wants to be that friend to you and I too. Proverbs 18:24 ( NIV) says, " There is a friend who sticks closer than a brother."

Why not write your friend a brief note today to let them know how much you value them in your life....
Until next time
Narelle